St Patrick's Day!!!

The next two articles have been only slightly modified to avoid plagiarism accusations...

Saint Patrick’s Day is but a few wee days from now, and that means the streets will soon be awash with lads and lasses whirling about with a puckish glee. OK, that’s enough of that—the point is, St. Patrick’s Day is near. And once you leave your doorstep on that day, you’ll immediately be faced with a mob of well-meaning folks dressed in green, all thrusting beverages into your hands.

GREEN BEER

Harnessing the same technology used to transform the Chicago River into a jade tributary, every year countless kegs of cheap beer are injected with green food coloring and served up to the thirsty, celebratory hordes. While not exactly considered a blessing for the taste buds, on this special day the visual effect is what matters. And on that front, green beer delivers in spades—or is that clovers?

REGULAR BEER

Obviously, a plain old glass of beer is perfectly acceptable; just know that you will score zero points for originality or adventurousness.

A PINT OF GUINNESS

As Irish as stew (and twice as filling), this hearty stout has been a gateway beer for many-a-lad parked on a pub stool on St. Paddy’s Day. And while the “black stuff” might not be what the doctor ordered for wetting one's whistle on a scorching summer day, it fits like the proverbial glove on this occasion.

IRISH COFFEE

If you need us to explain that this is coffee with a splash of whisky added, then we feel bad for you. Or perhaps you just haven’t had your morning cup of Irish coffee yet?

THE LEFTOVER MILK FROM A BOWL OF LUCKY CHARMS

If you break your fast at a measured pace in the AM, taking time to reflect as we do, you will notice that the milk in your bowl has taken on a pale emerald hue due to the magical marshmallows within. This is what we refer to as “liquid gold" (even though it’s green). Savor it. Green beer is all well and good—but green milk? Sláinte!