Cultures from around the world have unique ways of dealing with loss, from community-wide ceremonies to the very personal processes that individuals experience while mourning. Each of us will face loss a number of times throughout life and naturally find our own ways of honoring our beloved. Mourning is often a time to, not only celebrate the life of the departed, but to reflect upon our own lives, to appreciate our gifts, take stock in our achievements, or reconsider our priorities as one day in the, hopefully distant, future it will be our turn to be mourned and celebrated.
Since there is no ‘correct’ way to mourn, it is important to remember this as we support those around us who are grieving, and to let them express grief in their own manner and timeframe. Beyond grieving the loss of a family member or friend, loved ones may be mourning the loss of a relationship, a job, a home, or cherished pet. When we support those who are mourning, we may offer assistance in practical ways. Perhaps the best we can do is to show our genuine caring, without agenda. Let us choose wisely the words we share with the bereaved and, if we are mourning, be gentle and patient with ourselves.
When we go through the mourning process, we may feel a wide range of emotions, some of which may be in conflict with one another. It is common to feel both sadness and relief after someone passes who has gone through a prolonged period of illness. We may feel anger or frustration if we had unfinished business with the departed. We may feel joy at the realization of all the positive impacts that person had upon us. Often we celebrate a richly-lived life, filled with many friends and adventures. If grief is weighing heavy on us, it may help to focus on happy memories or keep ourselves busy with necessary tasks, knowing that a time of quietness will come in which can fully allow ourselves to 'let it all out'. If we consider, as many of us do, that we are eternal in nature, is it wrong to be happy for the soul that is now stepping into a new adventure, in a new world? I admit, I have felt a little envy at the thought of a departed friend soaring through the Universe, or knowing the answers to some of life's more philosophical questions. Regardless of what one is feeling, the moment of loss is a great opportunity to join with community, give thanks, and to open ourselves up to ever more meaningful relationships and experiences, and realize that we are never alone.